Seriously....Just...Seriously!

This was the kind of morning that if there was anything in the flask in my purse, it would have been drained by 7:15.  Some people have issues with Mondays.  My problems have always been with Thursdays.  And this Thursday was a doosy.  I will now air my list of Thursday Grievances:

• I got dressed at least three times this morning.  I still ended up wearing jeans to work, which I was trying to avoid, and a shirt that is not nearly warm enough for the sudden change in weather.  I don't know where all my clothes have gone, but I think Mt. Laundry might know.  On top of this, I am generally disliking most things in my wardrobe, including shoes.  (The ones I have on today are soooo ugly, but at least they are comfortable.)'
• And I'm really tired of being fat.  I get started on doing something and then lose my momentum because I don't have anyone to make me not eat that bowl of ice cream or box of Milk Duds.  I'm a stress eater, a celebratory eater, and oh yeah, it's not like smoking, you have to have to eat to live too.  I don't exercise like I should either because there's just not enough hours in the day and I'm exhausted after a full day of teaching.  But I'm ashamed of how I look.
• I quite possibly have the stinkiest cat ever.  I change her box all the time, but she seems to be trying to see how gross she can make things.  I don't want to be the stinky cat lady, and I'm really paranoid about this.
• My spring-loaded kitchen window is broken.  The fluorescent light in the kitchen is out.  My vacuum makes a weird burning smell.  I have no idea how to fix any of these things, and feel bad about asking my dad to do it because he already looks after his own house and my grandmother's.  Where's a handy knight-with-shiny-toolbelt when you need him?  (cue "I Need A Hero")
• Speaking of house issues, my house really needs a good top to bottom cleaning.  But when I get home in the evenings I am so tired I don't even want to think about it.  And my weekends are packed full of all the things that I don't get a chance to do during the week.  So, could I order a cleaning fairy, too?

I'm just overwhelmed.  And I don't really know what to do about it other than cry, which doesn't seem like the most productive choice.  I just feel like I'm losing it today, and I don't know how to keep it together.  Does anyone else get what I am saying?  Is it normal to feel like this?